stayed at home yesterday for the whole day. it feels just nice. nothing much to worry about. it feels like i can just do anything i want. watched gossip girls and went online most of the time. i just feel like "home sweet home".
at night, tend to flash back what's been up to me for the pass few days or weeks. conclusion, things always get messed up. especially when comes to finals. wondering, did i try my very best to study it or i'm counting on my luck? part of me is like just give up cause angela ain't a study type. tht's all i can say..
as i already said, relationship is not the one who been creating problems cause me, angela, doesnt have one yet. but yet, frenship is the one who been keep on creating problems. things between me, anu and shah is like never end. thought things already settled but it seems like not. thought that if i just act dont know, dont care, dont want to know.. nothing will happen. but problems always just come to me. am i a problem-recycle? or a dustbin who just let you to dump all the problem-rubbish to me? sigh~ think i fated to stick with the "problem".
yea, as everyone know anu was drunk that day. on that time, i just feel like so freaking screwed up!! received a call from tom while i was enjoying pee-ing in the toilet. then, rush down to the foyer and check out was going on...
1st, sight, anu looks fine
2nd, when she starts to talk.. oh shit~
3rd, confirm that she's drunk..
then my mind goes blank. wondering why would she do that. and wondering is this who is she? if is yes, then is that suppose to mean that all this while that she's being fake to me? argh~ gosh~ enough for all this stupid possibilities. but, this is what i thought at that time.
after a moment, stated to realise is sober. yea, maybe is kinda hard for het tho. no wait, not kinda hard, is very hard for her. hrm, cant blame tho. she's always alone. wat she have is only her guitar, ipod, perhaps me which is always with her. and oh yea, her car also. but WTH, the car cant talk~ hehehe
neeways, read shah's blog just now. hrm, seems like he already gave up. i mean frenship. but i cant do that. i just cant dump my lesbian partner alone there.. oops~ i mean my fren there.. is true that she's different these days, but since i can accept the change of shah, then why not anu??
she text me the other day, saying that she'll find herself back. as in the old anu. part of me was like, she dont have to do that cause we people, as a human being, we all will change. it's only depends on how and in what way; and part of me is like, i still prefer the old anu.
hard to describe who is she last time and who is she now. people who is out of the range will wouldnt find any difference on her. so, for the people who is in the range, will have to face the problem of accept it or deny it. hrm, what will i prefer??
honestly, i will still by her side cause what she need was a friend who can cares about her and go thru all this things with her. but it seems like, there is someone who can do that as well. =) so is that suppose to mean that is time for me to go and concentrate on my finlas? hrmm...
anyway, whatever is it, being her friend will always remain as a friend. i do did something wrong as well, and i'm lucky to have all my frens around me and accompany me to go thru all this things. so to anu as well. hopefully things wont get messed out again. and pls lady luck, pls stop tocturing me. enough is enough..
at night, tend to flash back what's been up to me for the pass few days or weeks. conclusion, things always get messed up. especially when comes to finals. wondering, did i try my very best to study it or i'm counting on my luck? part of me is like just give up cause angela ain't a study type. tht's all i can say..
as i already said, relationship is not the one who been creating problems cause me, angela, doesnt have one yet. but yet, frenship is the one who been keep on creating problems. things between me, anu and shah is like never end. thought things already settled but it seems like not. thought that if i just act dont know, dont care, dont want to know.. nothing will happen. but problems always just come to me. am i a problem-recycle? or a dustbin who just let you to dump all the problem-rubbish to me? sigh~ think i fated to stick with the "problem".
yea, as everyone know anu was drunk that day. on that time, i just feel like so freaking screwed up!! received a call from tom while i was enjoying pee-ing in the toilet. then, rush down to the foyer and check out was going on...
1st, sight, anu looks fine
2nd, when she starts to talk.. oh shit~
3rd, confirm that she's drunk..
then my mind goes blank. wondering why would she do that. and wondering is this who is she? if is yes, then is that suppose to mean that all this while that she's being fake to me? argh~ gosh~ enough for all this stupid possibilities. but, this is what i thought at that time.
after a moment, stated to realise is sober. yea, maybe is kinda hard for het tho. no wait, not kinda hard, is very hard for her. hrm, cant blame tho. she's always alone. wat she have is only her guitar, ipod, perhaps me which is always with her. and oh yea, her car also. but WTH, the car cant talk~ hehehe
neeways, read shah's blog just now. hrm, seems like he already gave up. i mean frenship. but i cant do that. i just cant dump my lesbian partner alone there.. oops~ i mean my fren there.. is true that she's different these days, but since i can accept the change of shah, then why not anu??
she text me the other day, saying that she'll find herself back. as in the old anu. part of me was like, she dont have to do that cause we people, as a human being, we all will change. it's only depends on how and in what way; and part of me is like, i still prefer the old anu.
hard to describe who is she last time and who is she now. people who is out of the range will wouldnt find any difference on her. so, for the people who is in the range, will have to face the problem of accept it or deny it. hrm, what will i prefer??
honestly, i will still by her side cause what she need was a friend who can cares about her and go thru all this things with her. but it seems like, there is someone who can do that as well. =) so is that suppose to mean that is time for me to go and concentrate on my finlas? hrmm...
anyway, whatever is it, being her friend will always remain as a friend. i do did something wrong as well, and i'm lucky to have all my frens around me and accompany me to go thru all this things. so to anu as well. hopefully things wont get messed out again. and pls lady luck, pls stop tocturing me. enough is enough..
Comments